So yet again I’m faced with returning after a considerable amount of time, and for my fans (all 72 of you on Facebook) I apologise for my absence! To the rest of you, I still aren’t producing enough traffic so get telling your friends and family, and even people you don’t know… perhaps it’ll be a good way to start a conversation with that ‘hot guy from the gym’ or even ‘the fat bastard from the chip shop!’ Anyway I digress, it’s time for me to do what I do best and ramble (Not the country walking!) In this episode I guess I’ll bring you up to date with a few things I’ve been doing/watching and then this will probably fuel me to write a full feature blog… we can only hope!
First off let me thank Jane Goldman & Matthew Vaughn for putting together the screenplay for the best film of 2010. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that ‘Kick-Ass‘ will remain the movie of 2010, it’s certainly going to take something spectacular to even put a dent in it’s reputation! If you still haven’t taken a stroll down to your local cinema, (or a cinema that isn’t so local), to see the movie then I must ask “Why the fuck not?”
Kick-Ass has been adapted from it’s original comic book which was written by the mighty Mark Millar (who was also the creator of ‘Wanted’, the film adaptation of this comic book however, did not do him justice!) You really should read the comic book first to fully appreciate how much effort has been put into making the movie an authentic experience! Fantastic performances from everyone in the cast. Little known Aaron Johnson (John Lennon – Nowhere Boy) makes his ‘major film’ debut as Kick-Ass, and I hope that this role forwards his career. Credit also goes to Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Red Mist), Nicolas Cage (Big Daddy) and thank God for the introduction of actress Chloe Moretz playing the fantastic role of ‘Hit Girl‘. The film has been expertly directed, and the choreography of the fight sequences are quite possibly the best I have ever seen! The soundtrack is also fantastic, sporting the coolest theme tune ‘Stand Up’ by ‘The Prodigy’… You all really need to buy it to fully appreciate the hand picked tunage! Overall this film is the complete package. Unfortunately I am not going to disclose any plot lines, because I feel you really have to experience Kick-Ass on the cinema screen and on paper yourselves. I therefore am going to leave this miniature review here, and tell all of my readers to get out there and see it… Go NOW, seriously, this article will still be here when you get back!!!
My second shout out goes to the first feel good film of 2010 ‘Blind Side‘. The true life story of NFL star Micheal Oher, growing up as ‘Big Mike’ (Quinton Aaron) a boy who has a crack whore for a Mother and it’s anyones guess who his Father was/is! The plot is summed up as thus (ahem!) Poor 7 foot tall black boy built like a brick shit house gets enrolled at a posh school but is thick! He sleeps on random sofas and doesn’t have a fixed address so sometimes roams the streets. Cue Sandra Bullock playing MILF Leigh Anne Tuohy, who is a rich white woman with Southern American accent which is actually quite enticing! She see’s ‘Big Mike’ roaming said streets and basically adopts him into her family. All credit goes to Sandra Bullock, who up until this role I haven’t really rated as an actress. But anyway, in the meantime ‘Big Mike’ finds that because of his size he makes a great American football player in the position of a ‘blind side’ (Obvious title choice!) In the end he’s legally adopted by the Tuohy’s and lives happily ever after making hundreds of thousands of dollars playing in the NFL! To be honest I’ve just read the summary back to myself and I haven’t made it sound too appealing, (other than the Sandra Bullock bit,) but ‘Blind Side’ really is quite a good film if you fancy seeing a movie which leaves you with a warm, fuzzy feeling which I can only describe as the feeling you get after giving the ‘Big Issue’ seller a quid. It is a film that for a while restores faith in humanity… but only for a while! Go see it to save yourself giving away that quid to the tramp!
In other news if you tuned into ITV1 on the 15th of April at around eight thirty pm, you would have been watching ‘The Live Political Debate‘. A programme to allow the three major political parties to bullshit the population of the UK in the run up to the elections on the 6th of May. I don’t want to turn this blog into a political war horse, so I am only going to comment on the format of the show, which made me think how it could have been improved. The layout was a stage with three podia (I love that word!) behind which stood Nick Clegg (Lid Dems), the unnaturally smooth, smug face of David Cameron (Conservatives) and our current Prime Minister Gordon Brown (Labour) who has always looked like a domesticated grizzly bear! They stood before what I can only describe as a gathering of dimwits who where picked to apparently represent the widest range of the UK’s population. There was even a token priest that looked like a ginger ‘Dougal’ from ‘Father Ted’ who must have been there to represent Channel 4 comedy?
The whole hour and thirty minutes was dictated by Alastair Stewart, the only man in the world other than the evil David Dimbleby, that could probably get away with slapping the Prime Minister. He insured that each of the leaders stuck the the allotted time slot of about two minutes, and stopped them mid sentence on numerous occasions, getting angry if any of them tried to finish. The leaders each had minute introduction before the debate began, which reminded me a little of how the teams on ‘Egg Heads’ introduce themselves, “My name is Nick. I enjoy secluded areas of the A1079, and my specialist subject is bullshitting the Nation!” At the end of the show each leader was then given a one and a half minute slot to sum up the reason you should vote, much akin to the “Take Care Of Yourselves, And Each Other” spiel from the Jerry Springer Show. I would have improved it by putting the vote to the nation like ‘Britains Got Talent’, Get Simon Cowell, Duncan Bannatyne and Sir Alan Sugar on a panel with red push buttons, when on pressing them opens up a trapdoor, beneath which are some starved Lions? Or better still channel 4 could adopt a Big Brother style programme in which the political leaders must live in the same house together and be handed tasks to complete for a Month, the overall winner will then be sworn into the Prime Ministers role! Now that would make the trip to put a card with an X in a box a little less tedious don’t you think?