British Summertime (As Seen On Fluxone20.net)

Hello World Mojo here Once again!

Hope you haven’t missed me too much. So I guess I owe you all an explanation to my delay in posting up on here?! Well I’ve been working on this very article for a new i-magazine called ‘Fluxone20 (You should check it out, it’s all awesome!) It would seem that finally my work is getting noticed on a higher level and from the good comments I’m receiving for that (this) article it would seem that I actually have a few more fans to what I originally thought! It’s been nice to actually be working for someone for a change and to have an actual deadline to aim for… something about the ticking hands of a clock as time slips away towards a solid deadline that motivates you! So obviously this meant that I gave ‘Fluxone20’ the exclusivity to have my blog up first and thus haven’t posted here for a while! This along with my focus on my sister site ‘GamesOrca’ which is growing from strength to strength has caused me to be a tad distracted! So there, I’m sorry…

So here is the link to my article on ‘Fluxone20.net’ you really should check it out on there because they have done an amazing job, and it’s an amazing magazine full stop so spread the word!

Without further ado, here is the said article… enjoy!

 

 

 

 

BRITISH SUMMERTIME

The British Summertime, A time of year that is welcomed with open arms by an optimistic Nation! A time of year that has recently been know to be a bigger let down than the England football squad (In fact some would directly blame the England team for Summer’s downfall!) Well Great Britain, there is good news! A recent study by the boffins at Sheffield University has discovered that thanks to everyone spraying aerosols into the air, using cars that kick out more emissions than the crap coming out of Kerry Katona’s mouth, and generally polluting the planet has finally paid dividends! Global warming has apparently caused our summertime to come earlier…  So now we have less time to wait to be completely let down again!

I mean has it always been this way? My childhood was always filled with long hot summers; the type of summers that screenwriter’s base coming of age movies on. Larkin’ out from the first sign of sunlight and having to be dragged in by your Mams, way after your bedtime! The only time my Mum would ever see me during the summer hols was when I’d run in for a drink of juice or for brief moments when my tea was ready! Scraping knees and climbing trees, football in the park and riding around on my bike were what my summers consisted of! It’s not like it was back then for kids now-a-days, they’d rather stay in Tweeting, Facebooking or playing games on the Xbox about playing outside! Games like ‘Block’, ‘British Bulldog’ and ‘Real-E-O’ have all died a death now that you can do all the playing out you want from the comfort of your own front room! But less of the nostalgia!

Us Brits live for the moment the temperature edges above freezing and the sun thaws away the snow from the long harsh winter. Looking to the sky for that first sign of a break in the cloud, longing for those UV rays to frazzle us to a crisp! And when the sun finally creeps out from where it’s been hiding we reach straight for the sun cream. Phone calls are made to friends and family looking for the confirmation that the summer has arrived. Our somewhat instinctive nature takes over, heading for the nearest shop that stocks portable barbeques. A majority of Gentlemen loose that gentlemanly edge and sacrifice their shirts as an offering to the sun gods. Men with less then aesthetically pleasing torsos suddenly think they have a body like David Hasselhoff during his Bay Watch era and display it to the world. Women throw away their wooly numbers for a more revealing ensemble and like the effect the moon has on the tides of the sea this beckons builders to down tools and step outside to give the mating call of the wolf whistle! However some, shall we say, unique women take this new found attention as an opportunity to squeeze into ‘daisy dukes’ to show off token muffin tops and saddle bags!

For a Nation that is usually a tad moist at the best of times, it always surprises me to see that at some point during the summer the water firm imposes a hosepipe ban! Where exactly is all of our water going? I can only imagine that every household in Britain is holding epic water fights and filling Olympic sized swimming pools in their back gardens? It would seem that another summer tradition is Britain is that after longing for the sun to make an appearance through the winter months, and it eventually does arrive we complain that it’s too hot and generally overheat in the unusually high temperatures at the peak of the summer! Another thing I find odd about our Nation is that the O.A.P’s certainly don’t do themselves any favors during the summer months over here! It’s like the season creeps up on them over night and for a majority of them, they simply don’t realize… you must have seen some old dear still wearing their thick winter jackets and wooly hat’s when the rest of us are walking around in vests and shorts… Thinking about it now though maybe they’re not as odd as first thought! Perhaps they continue to wear their winter woolys because they know what to expect of the British summer on a whole!

Of course it’s not all doom and gloom here in the UK, the heat exhaustion of the into an insignificant blips on the summer radar when you notice how much there is to do! The buzzword of the summer in UK has to be ‘Festival’ with a music event seeming to happen wherever organizers can find an unused field. Most notably The Leeds Reading Festival, Love Box, T In The Park and who could forget festival of free love Glastonbury! These festivals how now become somewhat of a British heritage with tickets selling out almost immediately after going on sale!

Also around the 20th of June the population develops a sudden interest in Pimms and the sale of strawberries increases ten-fold. Cliff Richard makes an appearance from his cryogenic chamber to show the world that he hasn’t aged in Fifty years and the Nation places it’s trust in whatever tennis player that stupid hill is named after! (This is the part when I mention Wimbledon, a miserable Scottish guy and more rain!)

Britain also takes it as a given that whenever the sun is out, a simple trip to the seaside must be filled with as much stress as humanly possible. Expect traffic jams and road rage on the journey there and a general battle for the last square inch of sand on arrival if you’re popping to the beach this summer. This great British past time has been well documented through the ages and is possibly still the number one thing to do during the summer. There’s nothing better than having a ride on a donkey, building sand castles, dropping your ice cream in the sand and spending all of your hard earned cash in the amusements, grabbing yourself some good old fish and chips before heading home to display your lobster sunburn to your family and friends! If the British seaside holiday doesn’t float your boat another popular thing to do is book a flight to a far off destination and enjoy the beaches there!

But whether you’re one of those people that can’t wait to get out of Britain during the summer or a serial festivalgoer, a fat lass with a love for small clothes or a sun worshipper trying your hardest to top up your tan, you have got to love the British summertime for what it is; Ten minutes of good weather followed by a long bout of rain, sleet and snow. So make the most of it whilst it’s here and lets face it… we’d moan whatever the weather!

 

Mojo

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